Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops