Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops