A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Muslim athletes.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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knock knock Who's there Hi, im a memeber of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Id like to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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Abortion

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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I just drank a cola.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops