Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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potatoes

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Hahaha

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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