What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops