Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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YOU

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops