Get off my porch.

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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A Chinese kid fails his math test.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops