You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

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A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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