While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Mullets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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