There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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I'm hungry.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops