Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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world peace

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ok

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[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

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breasts

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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