What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops