My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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Your mammas so fat, she weighs significantly more than the average person.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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