Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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What did the piece of macaroni say as they boy was about to eat him? Nothing. Foods are uneducated and illiterate therefore unable to speak, and went into the boy's mouth without a trouble.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A women's opinion.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops