HURT

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

HEY YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats white? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

religion

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69 :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops