It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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