What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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What is an emulation? I am not as stupid as I seem by the way, I am just a bit shaky myself, but don't you worry i will answer whatever you need,

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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