What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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What is a poop on a poopstick? A pile of poop.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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10inch nice

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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A women's opinion.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops