Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -23

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Amazing

thumb_up thumb_down -23

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops