Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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Hey, Max!!

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops