Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick, and could not speak during the last few weeks of his life.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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Cool Brian

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I grunt when I poop.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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canada

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops