What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Where's my tractor?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops