Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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This is an anti joke

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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i have a christmas tree.

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Yes!

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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