A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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which one is easiest

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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your mom

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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VAGINA.

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What comes after 69? 70

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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a man walked into a bar....

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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Alex Gedrose.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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