Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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