Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is a black man's favorite fast food restauraunt? Varies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops