man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Here's another:

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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No, Trinidad.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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