Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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you lose.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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