How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Well, there's one way...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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