Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than jonny james obviously

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You really need some help in spelling the word GOD... Anyway, none of your fucking business.I am a child for this scenario only so... Moral: LET THAT CHILD ALONE!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops