- Anti Joke

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

It said i can write my own joke so i did.

roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.