Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Where's the dick??? east

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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