Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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honest politician

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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Caca.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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