jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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why did the movie get bad reviews? it was a bad movie

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops