What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

tight butthole 4 lyfe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What time is it? 20:45.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops