Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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hi will

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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People used to throw rocks at whores. Now they're throwing wood. *Hint. Hint.*

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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