A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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The dewey decimal system

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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( . Y . )

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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david poredos

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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