Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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woman's rights

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Do u take sugar?

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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Nice belt.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Carrot fingers

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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