A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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Why did the frog die? He had AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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