How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Where are you going Your house

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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