Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Your mom is so hairy... it doesn't even seem like she underwent chemotherapy for her breast cancer a few months ago.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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yo mama so fat that the doctor asked for her weight not her phone number!

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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What's half of 8? o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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