Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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