A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Lets go Yankees

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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There's my tractor.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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