Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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