Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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