Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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