why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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