What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

Dyslexics are teople poo

What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

boner

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

God

Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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