Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

Women.

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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