roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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A Sloth runs...

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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A French man gets into a fight

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich? A sandwich doesn't scream when I put my salami in it.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops