What is a chair?

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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LIFE :(

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops