What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

68

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops